Diprivan Dreams
Yesterday ended my first week of orientation as a cath lab nurse. I’m feeling it out.
So far I find it extremely interesting. I’m staying positive and trying to open my mind up as much as I can to absorb all the new information. I am growing weary as I start each new job as a nurse (this is my 4th since 2007) and deal with this by experiencing secret mini panic attacks a throughout the day, my mind flooded with all the reasons I will hate the job (weekend hours, being on call, too much excitement, too little excitement, etc.) On Thursday though, I had an interesting experience with a TEE patient (an ultrasound of the heart via the esophagus) that soothed my nerves. Well, for a few minutes anyway.
When patients wake up from anesthesia a wide range of emotions can occur. I’ve been hugged, kissed, swung at, reprimanded, cried on, hit on, and asked tentatively, “Are you an angel?” The guarded patient who a few minutes earlier gave one word answers during my interview can open up to reveal horrible tales of death, disease, and misfortune that they have endured. Many are delighted and, depending on which drug they were given, ask repeatedly if they can have some to take home. The experience can make one comfortably vulnerable, confident, refreshed, nauseous, upset, or confused. Most are awed and amazed at the mystery of being “Put Under,” as they should be. It’s a pretty amazing thing.
But this particular patient popped her eyes open, looked right through me and said, “Stay in this department, you’ll learn a lot here.”
She was probably responding to something she heard while asleep about me being new to the unit. Still, this struck me as odd. Patients are usually pretty consumed with themselves at this stage (when first they wake up) but this one continued to elaborate on how great of an oppurtunity I was for me to work with the “older nurses” and learn from them. Despite my cynical outlook on nursing, I took it as a good sign.
I took a deep breath and begged myself to believe that at least. I feel myself getting older and wanting to settle into a position for a couple of years. Sequentially.
We’ll see how it goes.
“Happiness consists in realizing it’s all a great strange dream.”
- Jack Kerouac
It’s definitely a sign. I’d be stronger in that assertion if your patient had simply made the statement in a non sequitur-ish fashion, instead of prattling on afterward, but it sounds to me like you’re right where you need to be. Don’t forget: today is really all we have.